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my style of coaching

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There are many different coaching models available today.  There is appreciative coaching, solution-focused coaching, mindfulness coaching etc.

I find myself using a variety of models when I coach.  My main themes when I coach someone are all about:

  • the roots of potential
  • flourishing openness
  • a personal power of movement
  • loving kindness toward others
  • a cultivated voice
  • the inner guidance of a shaman
  • the spiritual unfolding of universal grace

I have used various spiritual and psychological theories:

You may wish to investigate some of these in the following authors:

Eugene Gendlin in the book Focusing

Jeffrey Rubin in the book, The Art of Flourishing

Michael Harner in The Way of the Shaman

Srinivasan Pillay in Life Unlocked

These are key but I use many theories to inform my practice.  This may be helpful to you as you enter into a coaching relationship.

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Time treats us to an elixir

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Dreamy Scape

Dreamy Scape (Photo credit: Garry – http://www.visionandimagination.com)

There can be no denying  . . . time treats us to an elixir  . . . just sheer time.  What I am thinking of are the rewards of waiting in patience for insights, intuitions, and flavors of intimations.  Those fleeting moments when we wake from sleep and realize how good it was to dream.  It was worth the sleep, we can say.

I’ve been sitting here for years wondering about that and my dream gave it up to me!!

I’ve been twisting my stomach into knots and the billboard of my slumber reminded me!!

How much more angst does it take to be enlightened?

And then we find out how easy it was after all.  The dream told me in plain dreamish.

What an insight, how much more I know now.

It is clear.

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the rewards

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What makes my life rewarding is often a question that comes up in coaching.  It may be that balance is the sought after goal.  In that case progress takes time.  Yet the simple incremental steps that each person takes toward a new balancing act are rewards in themselves.

For instance I am doing several things this holiday so that I have some time for fun,  some time for thoughtful celebrations and present-giving, some time for exercise, and some time for organizing my household.    It has taken me years to be thoughtful about all this but I am seeing the rewards.

If I am simply aware and mindful, I can make things happen in a day that would have baffled me before.  But I need encouragement.  I need a person reminding me that I can make that balancing act happen.  That is where my coach comes in.

I talk about the steps I take and the little things that make me move toward the right direction.  For me, the right direction is the wonderful feeling I get at the end of the day.  I look back and see that the steps I took were moving me toward my goals.

I often record those goals and the steps in a mini calendar called:  I Done This Today.  Or I might use a gratitude journal, or simply write something about my insights.  Sometimes I just fall asleep thinking about how good it has been.

There are days that it doesn’t quite work, and then I get up the next day and move toward a new horizon.  Those days count too, since they make me pine for the rewards of the great days.

Who helps you keep those good days coming?   Who encourages you?  Who is your coach?  Or do you need someone to help you on that journey?  Let me know at sufialice@gmail.com

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What do you hear when you coach?

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Been Listening

Been Listening (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

In a great coaching session, you start hearing certain words . . . . the words relate to the future and the decisions that are going to be made.  You also hear about solutions, rather than problems on the way to solutions.  And you also hear the words of change.

 

What is that like?  How does coaching help to break the barriers of standing still?

 

It is as simple as listening for that sound of movement.  Is there something that prevents the step forward?  Is there a feeling that the step is too big or too far along the path?

 

That is why coaching is about small determined steps.  It is incremental change.  It is helpful listening and helpful mirroring.

 

Here is an example.  I was listening and listening.  The person who was talking to me kept talking about what would happen next week but at the same time, this same person was not very happy about what would happen.  I could sense how hard it was to move forward.  Finally I stopped her and said:  “You know you don’t sound like you really want to do this.  You haven’t convinced me!”  And she laughed.

 

That was the breakthrough.  The laugh and the reflection that really this plan was not the way she wanted to go.  It took a few more minutes to realize what she really wanted to do.  And then the change, the solution and the movement forward happened.  That is the beauty of coaching.

 

Is this experience something you can relate with?

 

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a friendly adventure in hope and decisive building

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20101211_574Where do coaches get their plan?  How does coaching proceed?  Is there a method to what might happen in my coaching session?

As you begin coaching, there are lots of possibilities on the horizon because that is what coaching is about.  It is future-oriented, the horizon is where you look.  You can see various scenarios unfold, you can reflect and decide where you want to go.

There is also the notion of being solution-focused.  Coaching allows solutions to emerge, and unfold and evolve.  There is that notion of how to make success repeatable.  There is that notion that the next step can happen.

And there is an understanding of gratitude and appreciation of all that came before.  What can emerge from the seeds that were planted, what can be relinquished so that new growth can start, what door remains to be opened or slammed shut.  LOL

There is that feeling that coaching has a plan, many possibilities, decisions, and a future based on all that came before.  It is a friendly adventure in hope and decisive building.